Power: Why Can’t I Have It?

Whelp… this is confusing. Today my job reminded me once again that I value efficiency just as much as I value compassion. That would be great if I had unlimited power to go with my high emotional intelligence, but I don’t.

So when someone calls me with a problem, it bothers me that I can’t solve the problem directly, all I can do is apologize and issue concessions; irritating.

What the hell is the point of being the point of contact for an inconvenience if you can’t solve the customer’s problem? I’m totally fine with you yelling at me if I have the power to tell you with confidence, “I fixed it.” That’s all I’ve ever wanted to say to people: I fixed it. 

But when I’m powerless against both anger and inconvenience, it puts me in a really weird space as an empath.

Is my job in customer service a trigger for my savior complex? Do empaths like me need more logistical power to actually get things done? If I can’t get things done, does that mean that what I’ve contributed is worthless? Is my self-worth directly tied to my ability to fix people’s problems?

Until telekinesis starts taking effect in business, we’re just going to have to work with what we’ve got. I can’t beam customers’ packages directly to them when they’re late, I have to depend on several entirely separate departments in all fifty states to do that. But the customer doesn’t want to hear that.

This fact got me thinking about how freewill ruins everything. If I had unlimited power I would solve everybody’s problems, but I can’t because that overrides everyone else’s freewill.

If I need something done, I have to sit there like a schmuck and not only ask someone else for help, but wait to see if they are willing and able to help. This is not the life I wanted. This is fucking bullshit.

What’s the point of being an exemplary, compassionate person if all the power goes to the assholes that abuse it? I don’t understand life on this on planet. Everything is such a cruel joke.

One solution would be to stop caring so much, but since that’s never going to happen, I did what any normal person would do and turned my anger to the planet. This is all her fault anyway.

“So you’re mad at me because you want unlimited power to solve entitled people’s first world problems? Good for you!”

“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm Gaia.”

“You’re adorable; naïve, but adorable.”

“How am I naïve for wanting the tools to do actual good in the world?”

“You don’t want to do good in the world, you want to save the world, big difference. You really do believe that people’s karma, problems and bad decisions are your responsibility. Know why? ”


“Guilt. You feel guilty because you are lucky, and not only that, but you’ve ascended and now realize that you’re God. It’s hard to sit around and watch people suffer when you know that you’re a loving and compassionate God. That’s why you care so much. But the challenge that you’ll face for the rest of your life is to laugh, take naps, and actually enjoy omnipotence’s absence.”

“That’s going to make me feel helpless.”

“Helpless to rescue everybody and save others from their karma, yes; but helpless to enjoy your beautiful life in all of its glory, no bitch. I had to learn the same lesson.”

“It took you six billion years to learn that lesson! I don’t have that kind of time. I’m going to live on Mars.”

“Good luck with that.”

Author: Carla Calloway

Aries. Introvert. Creative writer. Food enthusiast.