“You are very judgmental!”
“Carla, please don’t judge me.”
“I don’t know about your gift of discernment Carla, you seem a little off.”
“When you say things like that, it makes me feel judged.”
“You are such a bitch.”
It bothers me that the word “empath” is not included in any of my word processor’s dictionaries. It’s not even on Dictionary.com, but anyway…I would like to propose a new perspective on judgment because the comments above (that I’ve received) from family, coworkers, and friends have always concerned me. Now mind you, I’ve been very honest about how mean I used to be, but I’ve also made it clear that I am very sensitive. So let me ask you this? How can a sensitive person be judgmental?
Well, it’s merely my opinion but I think that there are only two ways for empathetic people to be judgmental: either the sensitive person gave you their perspective from a place of imbalance, or your ego was bruised by what the sensitive person said. Either way it’s fine because the shadow needs respect in both cases.
When a sensitive person snaps about something, it’s usually because they’ve had a lack of sleep. No seriously. When I was in college I was unbelievably cranky when I didn’t take my daily nap. I would literally frighten my roommates and the people who lived on my floor, and I’d end up having to apologize. I also felt really bad about this aspect of my personality and would then suppress my intuition and refrain from expressing myself for as long as I could… until the next blow up.
When people call me judgmental now however, I have an understanding. I now understand that judgment is merely the shadow side of intuition, and therefore I embrace it instead of judging it. To judge judgment is to reject intuition.
What’s hilarious about judging judgment is that before I understood shadow work, I felt the need to make myself feel better by pointing out other people’s judgments. I didn’t know what else to do. Maybe if I crucified the outspoken, it would take attention off of how outspoken I was. But that didn’t work because it would just turn into a tug of war between two people who insisted on insulting each other for having the exact same trait. This mutual projection invalidates the shadow self of both parties.
If you really want to have some fun, the next time someone demonstrates judgment, try complimenting them for standing up for themselves and see what happens. If the person is an empath, they will feel validated, realize they’re out of balance, and eventually tone it down; and if the person is not an empath, your shadow will hear what you said to that person and feel validated. I know it sounds like an oversimplification, but it diffuses the confusion that the law of attraction causes.
My dad has always been really good at doing this. Like me, he is a highly sensitive person and a passionate Aries. He caught me off guard the other day when I said something that I knew he would disagree with, and he thanked me for my honesty. I was shocked to the point of tears and thanked him for his kindness.
Maurice is awesome at doing this too. He’s not an empath, but he’s a deeply spiritual Pisces. When I passionately express how I truly feel about something, he’ll usually smile and tell me that he’s thankful that I have all of his complimentary qualities. The men in my life are very helpful!
I’m also learning to compliment others when they call me judgmental. By saying a simple, “Thank you for telling me exactly how I made you feel.” This shows love to my own shadow while respecting the other person’s feelings. If I feel an apology is also in order, I say it. And if I don’t, then I don’t apologize. Every decision you make is right when it’s made with your intuition.
My middle name is Danielle and it means “God is my judge.” If you are an empath, it’s okay to act and speak on your intuition because only God is your judge and God is love. Your empathy is in place to empower others, but your intuition is in place to empower you; exercise them both and you’ll be balanced. When you’re out of balance and your shadow emerges, just laugh and take a nap. You’ll feel better when you wake up.