My Ego and I Define Success Differently Which is Why We Fight So Much

I think that the title is a pretty clear introduction to this chat, so let’s just get right into the argument shall we? So I was doing the dishes yesterday and Babe (my Ego) decided to start with me by telling me how she defines success.

“Car, when are we gonna buy a house and have some kids?” she asked.

“What if we never do Babe?” I asked back. “Would you be okay with that?”

“I really don’t know if I would. I mean you and Maurice are so smart. He could’ve been an engineer by now and you could’ve been a psychologist with a PhD and everything. Instead, you both work these shitty paying jobs and all of your friends have surpassed you. I mean seriously, what are you doing with your life?”  Continue reading “My Ego and I Define Success Differently Which is Why We Fight So Much”

No Body Treats Me Like My #1

My hypocrisy is hilarious. I mean I’m seriously such an idiot, it’s funny. Here’s an example: my body-who I call my #1- is like the feminine counterpart to my masculine mind. She’s the one that feels everything and I’m the one that analyzes everything. Okay so here’s the problem:

While I’m constantly snapping at Maurice for brushing off my feelings, I brush off my body’s feelings all the time and tell her/them –your body is both one and many- to get over it.

Now, it’s important to understand that all bodies are female in consciousness and energy, just like all minds are male in consciousness and energy. The male unites with the female to create the complete entity, but you are still many entities in one. That’s why you can feel one way one minute, and completely different the next.  Continue reading “No Body Treats Me Like My #1”

Is The Woman Man’s Equal or Man’s Best Friend? And No, It Can’t Be Both

This chat is going to be all over the place. I’m struggling with my anger about how women are treated in religion and I need to vent about it. I think misogyny is a lot like slavery.

Slavery and misogyny are interesting concepts to discuss when you are a Black woman. It’s very confusing. You want to stand alongside your man and fight as a united front for equality, and then when the fight is over, you realize that you’re fighting with your man as a divided schism of inequality.

My ego will not allow me to use spiritual enlightenment to explain this away either. I tried fighting with her about this for about five minutes and then I decided to give up. My “hippiness” and zen was no match for her passion for injustice.  Continue reading “Is The Woman Man’s Equal or Man’s Best Friend? And No, It Can’t Be Both”

Money, Debt and I Have a Very Interesting Relationship

You know, every time I learn a heartbreaking lesson, I realize that life is really all about how you look at things, and the universe will mirror your beliefs. Money is a wonderful example of this.

Money is like a very successful and busy friend to me. I know she has a big heart and I know she really loves me, but sometimes I feel like she abandons me. Not because she means to, but because she has so many other things to do.

I’ll invite Money to go out for drinks at nine, and she won’t show up to the bar until eleven. I’ll send her several text messages that she won’t respond to, making me panic and seethe; and then, just as I’m about to get up and walk out, she’ll show up. She’ll flash me that beautiful smile of hers as she walks in with a bag from Barney’s or a box from Tiffany’s that has just what I wanted in it.  Continue reading “Money, Debt and I Have a Very Interesting Relationship”

Do You Really Need to be in Control?

The need to be in control is directly linked to the need to not be your true self, and here’s why.

So lately, I’ve been paying very close attention to how much I’ve needed to control my hair. It’s no secret that Black women have a very complex relationship with their hair.

But I never fully understood why I struggled so much with mine and why there was always shame attached to my hair. I used to think that it was because of the weaves, the perms, and the heat, or maybe it was the media, or the shady comments from friends and family.

But now, I think it was something else. I think it was because no one ever told me that my hair was something to be proud of. I had no idea that it was alive, and that it was a procreation of me like a child.  Continue reading “Do You Really Need to be in Control?”