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Do You Really Need to be in Control?

The need to be in control is directly linked to the need to not be your true self, and here’s why.

So lately, I’ve been paying very close attention to how much I’ve needed to control my hair. It’s no secret that Black women have a very complex relationship with their hair.

But I never fully understood why I struggled so much with mine and why there was always shame attached to my hair. I used to think that it was because of the weaves, the perms, and the heat, or maybe it was the media, or the shady comments from friends and family.

But now, I think it was something else. I think it was because no one ever told me that my hair was something to be proud of. I had no idea that it was alive, and that it was a procreation of me like a child.  Continue reading “Do You Really Need to be in Control?”

The Universe Will Mirror Your Beliefs

This universe is holographic. Every day circumstances will mirror your beliefs. If someone sincerely believes something that you think is wrong, the universe will not prove them wrong… not until they start doubting for themselves.

But that’s just what I think. This isn’t written in stone, and I honestly can’t prove it concretely; but I can see the principle play out in every day scenarios.  Continue reading “The Universe Will Mirror Your Beliefs”

Empathy: Writing a New Narrative

Empathy is very interesting because it self-sabotages us sometimes. I remember once in elementary school, the teacher selected me to read a passage from a textbook out loud. Everyone else in the class sighed loudly in disappointment when the teacher called my name.

She said something like, “I want Carla to read because she annunciates and projects.” Even though I was thrilled that she chose me, I felt bad that everyone else was disappointed. So I intentionally stumbled through the passage.

Why did I do that? Why did I think that failing in something I was selected to do would make those who weren’t chosen feel better? Why did I minimize my skill? Why did I want to make my teacher regret calling on me?  Continue reading “Empathy: Writing a New Narrative”

Meltdown Chronicles: I Cried Today Over Curtains

*In Michael Buffer voice*

“In one corner ladies and gentlemen, we have flirty, feisty, and conditioned to be insecure by a narcissistic mother, Carla’s ego! And in the other corner ladies and gentlemen, weighing in at four feet and eleven inches of emotional maturity and philosophical ingenuity, we have Carla’s intuition!…

“Let’s get ready to RUMBLE!!!!”

Yup, you guessed it. My ego and my intuition are fighting again, but this time I’m not handling it very well. I tried to hang some curtains rods today, realized that I ordered the wrong width, and went into a full on meltdown. I mean crying, screaming, throwing things, and everything. Continue reading “Meltdown Chronicles: I Cried Today Over Curtains”

Sex is not for Spiritual Beings… Or is it?

What’s it like to have a role model that’s not human? It’s wonderful… when that role model is the earth. Gaia is a gentle genius and an extremely selfless soul. She is the mother that human women aim to be. And the more I learn about her, the more I realize that it’s impossible to duplicate her perfection.

There’s just one problem though: we think that she’s a nun. After all, planets can’t have sex right?  Continue reading “Sex is not for Spiritual Beings… Or is it?”